Textpattern CMS support forum
- From: Kyiv, Ukraine
- Registered: 2017-03-12
- Posts: 130
Sorry my horror English. I’m learning textpattern, I’m learning English
C-19 irrelevant. I don’t know how many of you came across the Impractical Jokers’ pranks on youtube. Here’s one that really made me laugh.
I saw this comment below a Richard Sennett video that made me laugh:
Great news: A neurological milestone crossed…
Trump’s brain has finally been mastered…and it was surprisingly simple…
The analysis shows his brain has two sides…
His left side has nothing “right” and his right side has nothing “left”.
Now you see everything can be easily explained after all…
I received this one by email today:)
Due to the current financial situation caused by the Corona Virus and slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your TD, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS – Due to Corona Virus, recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
There’s been a lot of “clapping for the health service” events recently in the UK where we all step out of our houses at 8pm on Thursdays and show our appreciation for those on the front lines of health care.
Apparently there’s a similar event planned for courier and delivery drivers. It’ll take place any time between 9am and 5pm tomorrow.
in Vancouver the ritual has been happening for approx. ten days now. It happens at 7pm nighty.
As of last week the 9 o’clock Gun in Stanley Park which usually goes off a 9pm is now reset to go off at 7pm.
…. texted postive